We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize