I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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