what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
