Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
