Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
