She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
