batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
