you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a beard to bite.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
