So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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