the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
