apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
