the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
