therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
