my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
