belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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