..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
