Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
