I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize