i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
