The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize