Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
