I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
