Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Pappa wants mamma naked
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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