would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
