he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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