I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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