Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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