What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
