Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
