saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize