I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
