I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
