I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
