i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
