...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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