isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
