'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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