omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
