If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
