I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
