My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
