I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
