She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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