i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
