Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
