idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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