You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
