Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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