I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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