it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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