I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
