I think my vagina is haunted
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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