It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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