Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
