i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
