Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
