What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
