mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
