At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
