trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
