She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize