): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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