My Higher Power is John Stamos
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize