I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She bit a glass in half.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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