GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize