My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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