Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
